Like a Rolling (and extra couple of) Stone

d9cfc37367a35604f1e8a9c4b6284bb4 One of the many reasons I’m on a diet…

WARNING: diet bore! As I was finishing up work before the Christmas holidays I was becoming more and more aware of my burgeoning girth. A combination of bad habits, weather-induced laziness meant that things had gotten a bit out of control. I’m not going to be posting fatty selfies on here but to give you context I’m 5ft 2 and a 1/2 inches short, medium build and was rocking over three stone above my ideal BMI according to my beloved NHS. Being the food afficiendo that I am, I relish (often figuratively with copious amounts of cheese) the festive excess. The two week school holiday sees me cooking and sharing our table with a whole host of family and friends. I was dreading limiting myself it to be honest but I decided to try and watch what I consumed over this period with a view to getting my head ready for a proper official diet in the new year.

Two and a half weeks passed, I paid my subscription to a well known dieting company and hardened myself for what would be a tough and challenging time. Despite my Xmas excess I was pleasantly surprised to find that over the holiday I had actually managed to lose weight! Eating three meals a day must have made a huge difference. This gave me the boost I needed to start and stick to a plan. Obviously I am writing this from a position of smugness as in the last 45 days I have lost my first stone and a couple of pounds (I still work in old money).

A bad chest infection and two courses of steroids later, I have potentially plateaued. This week’s weigh in will be telling as I gained last week for the first time. I may have to subject myself to ritual humiliation and attend a local meeting of fellow fatties in order to strive to keep losing. I’m not even sure what my end goal is at the moment and don’t want to revert to my old eating habits after my goal has been reached. I guess I’ll figure it out and change the way that I eat, eventually. At the moment I’m still in the mindset where I’m constantly denying myself food and having to put my hands in both of my pockets, walk away and distract myself. Eating tinned fruit like a Cold War bunker dweller really makes a poor substitute for a chunk of fine cheese with a slathering of relish.

I’m also finding the hunger pangs pretty hard going. I thought they’d ease off after a while but they’re still as strong as ever and I’m really missing my extra portions of carbs. I sometimes dream of selling one of my children for some artisanal bread. I suppose the fact that all of my social media (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram) is full of food isn’t really helping to keep my focus off food. Food suppliers, food producers, food blogs, photos of strangers’ lunches, even my favourite tv programmes all feature food!

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I’ll get there I suppose.